why is harder to apply for jobs you want than those you don't?

It is easy to apply for jobs I don't want.  It is much harder to apply for jobs I do want.  It doesn't have anything to do with the job itself, as much it has to do with the low statistical probability that I might get the job.  If I think a job is good then it is likely other people think the job is good.  This means lots of resumes for the job resulting in a very low statistical probability that I will get hired.  It is even unlikely the company would have enough time to read all the cover letters and resumes.  I could spend a few hours creating the perfect cover letter and never have anyone read it. 

Even worse would be the disappointment that would follow if I didn't get the job.  Do I want to deal with that?  What affect will it have on my confidence?  Lots of little questions that deal mostly with my personal self doubt.  I don't know if that is normal, other than it is normal for me.  When I see something I want and don't get it, I am disappointed.   I don't much like feeling that way in life. 

Most times I am able to get past all the silliness within my brain and apply for the job.  In order to more effectively deal with the disappointment I try to forget all about the jobs I want after I apply for them. That way if they call or email me it is a happy surprise.  Less disappointment that way. 

I am a social carpenter

How about you?  Do you find it harder to apply for jobs you want?